Easy Negotiation Techniques

Win Your Negotiation With Your Enemy

You have an enemy and you have your reasons. Annoyingly enemies keep appearing on your scene and you have to negotiate with them. You don’t like it and you have a tremendous desire to win. There are three steps to winning these negotiations and getting the best outcome for you.

1. Start with the enemy. Write down the five main reasons this other person is your enemy. Be specific and put as much detail down as you can. Make sure you have captured all the key components that make this person your opponent. Now look at each of these reasons and seperate out fact and assumption by underlining facts in green and assumptions in red. I want you to think about your enemy in a different way for a moment. He or she is a fully functioning human being trying to live as good a life as he can and not intent on harming others unless they are intent on harming him. Try to think of him this way. In the facts you have written down question whether that is the best fact to consider for your success. If it is not then can you just remove it or replace it with one that is more helpful for you. Consider the possibility that if you like him he will like you and there can be ways to work together. Assumptions are dangerous things and generate many wars and problems. Look at the assumptions you have made and question whether there are better assumptions you could make for both of you. Doing this exercise will make you think about your enemy in a different way and will give you new insights on how you and he might be able to help each other. It is hard but when you see the benefits it gets easier. Your enemy could be the biggest potential resource to help you get what you want. Work with him and you move further faster.
2. Know what you want. It is amazing how often you lose your battle because you have put so much energy in to proving a point against your enemy that you have lost sight of what you wanted in the first place. Be absolutely clear and specific about what you want and make sure everything you do is driving towards that intent. This is a powerful step and I know you can think of situations where you have gone after your enemy for the perceived pleasure of it rather than to help with some intent you have.
3. Be flexible. Your reality is only one of many that you could possibly have. You pick it based on your views on the world and a selection of some data around you where you are. Find some other perspectives and use other data to create different realities. Even use your enemy to help you with this process. How does he or she see the world and how can you relate to that. Being flexible is a powerful way to getting what you want.

There is often a way in which your enemy can help you and it is up to you to find it. Know why he is your enemy, know what you want and be flexible and you will win more often in a negotiation with your enemy.

Len is walking 1000 miles in 2010 to raise £100,000 for research in to a treatment for Multiple Sclerosis. If you want to read about his progress and see pictures of the places walked and the amazing range of people met please visit the 1000miles4hope blog at http://1000miles4hopeblog.blogspot.com/ and if you want to know more about the charity visit the web site at http://1000miles4hope.com/