Easy Negotiation Techniques

Argument is a Loser – How to Persuade Others Through Reverse Logic

Whether it’s in a business situation, or a personal conversation with someone close to us, this is human nature: We tend to focus first on what we want.

What we want may be to close the sale.

Or sway their opinion.

Or just get them to agree with us.

As we try to accomplish the goal of persuasion, our subliminal ‘logic’ leads us to expose our true objectives, to allow the other person to plainly see what we’re after. This makes persuading them much more difficult than it needs to be.

Have you noticed that people tend to want what other people have, or what another person places value on? When the person you’re dealing with realizes how badly you want their cooperation-however that might be defined in a given conversation-you’ve put yourself at a great disadvantage.

In my Deception Secrets Audio System I’ll tell you in great detail how not revealing what you’re really after empowers you… to get it! I know this is contrary to instinctual logic, but keep in mind that instinct will always lure you into defeating yourself in conversation.

That’s why I’m telling you here to throw that instinctual logic away-and use its reverse form.

Rather than pushing them to do or think as you wish, pull back and consider what they want. Sometimes we get so consumed with our own aims that we ignore a simpler, less strenuous route of influence: Giving the other person what they want first.

Always remember, the person you’re conversing with wants something, too. They may want to change your mind as badly you want to change theirs. They may want you to admit that you’re wrong. Or they may just be resisting your efforts to get them to change their mind. People have a hard time giving in, sometimes, don’t they?

It’s called ego.

If you’re unsure what they want, just listen-they’ll tell you. An example? Great salespeople do this before making their pitch. They ask questions, determine what keeps the prospect up at night, what their needs are, what they want. Then they deliver their pitch to fit the needs of person they’re selling to. They provide a solution… to the prospect’s problem.

In personal conversations, sometimes what the other person wants is simply to be heard. So listen to them. Don’t argue, and agree with them when you can. Instead of insisting they go your way, gently guide them: “That’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of that. What’s your opinion on this, do you think it might work, too, if we…”

You can’t change another person’s mind. And you shouldn’t try to. Instead, use reverse logic if you want to influence another person: Simply allow them to come to your conclusions, but through their own reasoning.

Do it by:

1- resisting that instinctual pitfall of revealing your true objective

2- giving them what they want first

3- providing an alternative that allows them to feel they’ve come to their own conclusion

With a little practice, you’ll find that by giving others what they want first, getting what you want usually comes pretty easily.

Thanks for reading–for more useful tips & techniques on savvy conversation, visit my blog at http://www.deceptionsecrets.com

Jef Nance is a former police interrogator and trooper with the Missouri State Highway Patrol. He is author of the book Conquering Deception, a member of the National Speakers Association, the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners, and is a speaker and consultant on the subject of savvy communication techniques. http://www.deceptionsecrets.com