Easy Negotiation Techniques

5 Mistakes People Make When Negotiating

Here are five common mistakes that people make when they are negotiating:

• Telling instead of asking
• Not listening
• Not being clear about their needs
• Being Angry
• Not finding out what the needs of the other party are

You don’t realise how many negotiations you are involved in every day.

Every request is a negotiation. Every decision, where anyone else is involved, is a negotiation.

Let’s look in a bit more detail at these mistakes that you may well have made. Making these mistakes means it is more difficult for you to get what you want and can unnecessarily alienate the people you are dealing with.

Telling Instead of Asking

This is when you state your demands and tell others what you want them to do. Then you feel cross when the other party demands something else that you see as unreasonable.

For example:

• We demand a 3% pay rise.
• You must give me my money back.
• You should compensate us for the problems you have caused.
• You should improve the food in the canteen.

Not Listening

This mistake compounds the first. It is when you don’t make an attempt to really understand the other party and find out what they need and what their concerns are.

When you are telling others what to do you are rarely listening to what they are saying. They then return the compliment and don’t listen to you. So very quickly you can end up in a pantomime of people almost shouting at each other and making no progress.

Not Being Clear About Your Needs

People often go into a negotiation with a list of ‘wants’ rather than needs. They identify what they want the other party to do, instead of thinking about what they really need.

They identify how far they are prepared to compromise so that they then have to ‘climb down’. Most people hate doing this and see it as a sign of weakness.

For example, if you are facing the possibility of redundancy, you may feel like trying to cling on to your job. Stepping back and working out what you need financially (a specific income per year, or lump sum) can change the negotiation.

Being Angry

It’s even worse when you go into a negotiation angry. When you are angry it’s very hard to work out what your true needs are, so it’s unlikely that they will be met.

Feeling angry also reduces your ability to think clearly and use your higher order reasoning skills.

It means you are unable to see options and possible solutions so even if you are able to work out what your needs are, you will have reduced your chances of getting them met quite substantially.

You are also more likely to blame the other party for everything. This will make you seem aggressive and unreasonable to them. That won’t make them very cooperative.

Not Finding Out What The Needs Of The Other Party Are

It’s very easy to assume the worst of the other party in a negotiation and to focus mainly on your own needs. If you find out what their needs are you will often be surprised.

Of course, they will frequently be blinded to their needs and be focussing on what they want you to do at first. So to overcome that, you need to ask them some careful questions.

By doing this effectively you will be able to find out what it is they really need. It could be that they need to look good to their boss. Or perhaps they really need to get home early that day so are doing things in a hurry.

The best ways to overcome these problem are:

Manage Your Emotions

Learn how to keep calm and controlled. You need to be interested in the other party and concerned for them.

Ask Questions

A very simple way to overcome many of the difficulties in a negotiation is to ask questions, so prepare a list of questions before you go into a negotiation.

Things like:

• What’s important to you about this situation?
• What are you worried about?
• What happened?
• What problems have you encountered?
• What do you need?
• What is your understanding of my situation?

Assume The Best Of The Other Party

Assume what you would like them to assume about you if the situation was reversed.

You will find that this will make it much easier to ask the right questions and to get their cooperation.

Be Interested In The Other Party

If you are interested, you will find it much easier to listen genuinely to their perspective. This will help you to understand them and understanding is the key to effective negotiation.

Being a Better Negotiator and Get Better Results

There are very simple things you can do to improve the results you get in any negotiation, not just the big ones. It’s easy to sabotage yourself by making one of the mistakes I have highlighted, so make a conscious effort to behave differently.

With just a little practice you’ll find you can make some big improvements and changes.

Nancy Slessenger has authored over 20 booklets and various other products including the best-selling ‘How to Write Objectives That Work’. Her company Vinehouse provides materials and consultancy to help you to improve the performance of your people in practical, straightforward ways. She believes that there are simple easy things all managers can do. She has worked with many companies both in the profit and not for profit sectors.

Go to http://www.vinehouse.co.uk for more help on this topic.