Assertion Skills - 7-Step Feedback Sequence

Posted on July 9th, 2008 by admin

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This very simple Seven-Step Feedback sequence lets another person know how you feel about a particular situation.

Remembering that assertion is simply saying, how you feel.

It has nothing to do with putting blame or responsibility for a situation on the other person.

The Seven-Step Feedback sequence goes like this:

1. you describe the situation

2. you say, what happens to you

3. you say how you feel about it

4. you ask them if they would do something else about it

5. then you say why you are suggesting this

6. you ask them, if they could feel that they could accommodate this

7. and then you ask them a final question

So, how does this go in reality, in an actual dialog?

1. When someone speaks in what I think is a loud voice to me

2. I get uneasy, and

3. I feel embarrassed.

4. Would you mind lowering your voice a little,

5. because that way

6. I would feel more comfortable?

7. So, what do you think?

Does that make sense?

Here is another example:

1. When someone talks about someone behind their back

2. I get uncomfortable, and

3. I feel as though I am betraying them.

4. Would you mind if we don’t speak about her behind her back,

5. because we could be up-front and say it to her,

6. and I would feel better about it?

7. So, how does that sound to you?

Now, you can make up your own scenes about conversations that you could have with others at home or at work.

It is all about taking the responsibility of the conversation and taking away any form of blame or responsibility about how you feel from the other person.

When people have not accepted personal responsibility for how they take a situation, they run the risk of becoming

<p> overly dependent upon others for approval and recognition

angry or upset about not being treated fairly

afraid of taking risks

fearful of making mistakes, and

generally being emotionally insecure

Being assertive is about knowing who you are and not compromising this for anyone or for any situation.

Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations.

She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: “Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success” and many Reports and online articles.

Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

http://www.connect4results.com

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

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