Negotiating With Someone Who Resists Probing
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There are some people who resist giving information. You might ask “how do I discover interest if the other party resist giving information?” Simple, learn to deal with them.
You: “How did you come up with this decision?”
Target: “Because I want it to.”
You: “Is it because you wanted….and….” (you begin to hypothesize)
Target: “Oh please…*roll eyes*…give me a break. I just wanted it this way. Period.”
What can you do?
1) Get them to talk about their decision.Ask them about their decision again.”I didn’t quite get your decision. Can you say it again, please?”
More often than not, they will restate their decision, use other verbs and elaborate on their decision. When they start elaborating, do nothing but listen! This is your golden opportunity to find out their underlying interests. You can carry on asking for clarifications on the terms and details.
2) Locate the “voice” behind. You will be surprised that sometimes the people you negotiate with are just puppets of the main decision makers.An experienced negotiator once said “The worst person to negotiate for the President is the President himself.” The decision makers often get people to negotiate on their behalf.
You can question your target : “Who says it has to be done this way? Can I talk to that person?” Always locate the “president” in your negotiations.
3) Magical use of silence (this can be a powerful tool)Target: “I am not going to pay for your service.”
You: “You are not going to pay for my service.”
-Pause-
-Pause-
-Pause-
Target: “Yes, because you have terrible service. You guys are always late. The job is badly done. I don’t like this part of the job done…etc”
Many people dislike the awkward silence in conversations. They will do anything to fill up the silence. When they desperately try to find something to fill up the gap, they will elaborate on their decision. When they elaborate, they are revealing more information and you continue to probe again.
Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone
Want to learn more about negotiation techniques and build your own arsenal of negotiation strategies? Avoid the pain of having to do terrible deals. Jens shares strategies, tactics, techniques, pictures, insights, podcasts, videos, interviews, ideas and stories about NEGOTIATIONS!
Jens is a member of International Association for Conflict Management (IACM).
Visit his site at http://www.thenegotiationguru.com
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