How to listen for more information?
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Listening is the best skill you can learn to do better in negotiations. It is the best way to learn more about the other party. It’s not surprising that there are many people with poor listening skills. Everyone wants others to listen to them. This validates their self-worth.
Learning more about the other party you are negotiating with will drastically improve the results of your negotiations.
How to listen?
1) Question
There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. For the latter, you have TO BE THERE. You must take a more proactive stance to listening. Throw questions. After you have asked a question, listen. Do not say another word. Give the other party more chances to speak. The more they talk, the more they will reveal information. In turn, the better your results.
“What are the reasons for requesting this?”
“What is the best way to go about doing to this?”
“When do you think we should sign the deal?”
“How is it possible for us to come to an agreement?”
“What is holding you back?”
Listen to what the other party has to say and ask questions which will reveal more information.
2) Paraphrase
Paraphrasing is to check your understanding. It means that you express what you understand from the conversation using your own words. When you paraphrased, you let the other party know that you are listening. If you show that you have taken in whatever she has said, you will be more successful in gaining her trust. This also increase the chances of her listening to what you have to say.
“Just to make sure I get you right on this…”
“If i am not wrong, you are trying to say that…”
“Correct me if i am wrong…”
3) Acknowledge
To acknowledge means to express your understanding of the other party emotions. Negotiation can be an emotional affair. When someone negotiates, she is constantly looking out for validation. In her mind, she might be thinking, “Is my opening okay?” “Do they think that my concern is trivial?” “Do they think that I am hard to deal with?” “Do they think that I am demanding?”
To move on in a negotiation, we have to validate the other party emotions.
“Sounds like you are very concerned with the delivery…”
“It occurred to me that you are unhappy with the terms…”
“I can understand why you are not happy with this condition…”
“I can see the reason you should be upset..”
“I am hearing what you say, you are disappointed because…”
Remember: 3 steps to listen for more information: Question, Paraphrase, Acknowledge
Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone
Want to learn more about negotiation techniques and build your own arsenal of negotiation strategies? Avoid the pain of having to do terrible deals. Jens shares strategies, tactics, techniques, pictures, insights, podcasts, videos, interviews, ideas and stories about NEGOTIATIONS!
Jens is a member of International Association for Conflict Management (IACM)
Visit his site at http://www.thenegotiationguru.com
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