The Shrug is One of The “Best Practices in Negotiation”
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Somebody makes you an offer that is so low, such a shock, and so upsetting that you don’t know where to begin to respond.
Or, a person makes a perfectly suitable first offer, which is in the range of acceptability, given what you’ve plotted in advance.
These seem to be dramatically disparate scenarios that would evoke entirely different responses from you, correct?
In the first situation, you’d be inclined to say “Get outta here!” or “You must think I’m crazy!“
And in the second, you’d be tempted to tip your hand, to confess “I was looking for something a little higher.”
But what if I told you that one of the best initial gambits IN EITHER CIRCUMSTANCE is to DO THE SAME THING?
What’s more, would you be surprised if I recommended saying nothing at all, and instead simply SHRUGGING, while raising your palms upward toward the ceiling?
This “What gives?” response accomplishes a number of things:
(1) You avoid making a counteroffer. If you counter their figure, chances are you’ll compromise your position and make unnecessary concessions.
(2) You provide feedback that says, “You’ll need to do better than that!” but it is more powerful to send this message nonverbally. If you use the phrase I just mentioned, a savvy negotiator can elicit a number from you by simply repeating your key word as a question: “Better?”
(3) It’s less offensive and more low-key to use gestures at this point. But let’s look into what a shrug says. First, it says, “I’m confused-tell me more.” If your counterpart tells more, inevitably he’ll reveal more, too, giving you valuable information. Second, it provides just enough aversive feedback to motivate the other person to cut to the chase, to skip small improvements in the offer and to make larger ones. Plus, a shrug makes him monitor your body language and try to make you more comfortable. By trying to put you at ease he gets hooked on the need to please.
I realize this is such a simple move that you have to wonder if it will work. It does, because while most people are trained to haggle with their jaws, they’ve been utterly unschooled in how to barter with their shoulders.
Are you negotiating one of the big deals in life: for a house, car, promotion, or major contract? Or are you looking for a top negotiation speaker or coach? Email the author for Best Practices coaching, consulting, seminars, and on-site training.
Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top trainer, conference and convention speaker, and sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant. A frequent expert commentator on radio and TV, he is also the best-selling author of 12 books, more than 1,000 articles and several popular audio and video programs. His seminars are sponsored internationally and he is a faculty member at more than 40 universities, including UC Berkeley and UCLA. Gary’s sales, management and consulting experience is combined with impressive academic credentials: A Ph.D. from USC, an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School of Management, and a J.D. degree from Loyola Law School, his clients include several Fortune 1000 companies.
His web site is: http://www.customersatisfaction.com and he can be reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com His blogs include: YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS! and ALWAYS COLD CALL! at: http://www.alwayscoldcall.blogspot.com
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